Words are “strange”. Take GOOGLE for example. We say it all the time. “Hey, just Google it” or “Let me check Google”.
To me it sounds like some sort of S.T.D. and should be used in a sentence like, “Hey, did you hear about Ted? Yeah, he went to Bangkok and now he has “The Google”. Don’t worry, I think there’s a shot for that”.
I just got back from the grocery store and while walking down one of the aisles looking for my menthol flavored Vagisil [don’t ask] I came across these “Jesus Candles”. That got me to thinking, I wonder what Jesus [aka J.C.] would say if he saw these. I bet he would think to himself,
“Man, I REALLY made it big! Here I am on the face of a candle for sale in one of the largest grocery stores in the world, sandwiched between a candle of Che Guevara and Brittany Spear. It doesn’t get much better than that. Thank Dad!”
Speaking of fantasies, check out these fantastic records (rare!) that came in yesterday. MORE MORE will be here tomorrow. [that is a hint to stop by tomorrow. Mega RARE vinyl collection coming]
I just finished writing my 1st movie script! It’s a porno called “E.T. Bone Home”. The story of a lost extraterrestrial who has to prostitute his way back to his home planet of “Your-Anus” using his large “head”. Part comedy, part drama, all great. And based on a true story too! Going direct to Beta so look for it at your local Hollywood Video store!
I just got back from riding my bike to our local Mexican restaurant/hole in the wall. I pulled up to the restaurant, put my shirt and pants back on [I ride in the nude so what] and locked my bike up. Upon reaching for the front door with my well sculpted tan arm I see a “B” rating! [For those of you in other states or countries that don’t care about health we, in California, have a Health Food inspection rating system].
At first I thought to myself “Hmm…this isn’t good. Maybe I should go elsewhere”. But then I started thinking. This is EXACTLY where I want to eat! Why? Because now is the time this restaurant is going to “kick up their game” you know? Be really careful, clean and serve the best food they ever have. Besides that there was no line because others chickened out when they read the “B” rating [pussies. Where your sense of adventure?]. So I have this whole place to myself and great food.
And besides people, since when is a “B” bad? I mean I would have killed to get B’s in school. It’s still above average and only one grade from perfect. THIS is exactly what is wrong with our society. The need for perfection. When it comes right down to it, who really cares? Good enough is good enough. From now on I’m going to brush my teeth to the best of my ability, wipe my butt until I get bored and let the rain wash my car. Click here from more “below average “restaurant near YOU;
I was taking a shower and actually dropped the soap on purpose just so I could fist myself. I think I gave myself crabs. Oh well, more pets! For more “Fistacular” pics you know what to do:
|Singer Britney Spears was one of the best selling female performers of the 2000s. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)|